I love it

I'm done with classes! For good! Oh how ever so exciting. Now all I have to deal with is my Anesthesia and Vet Sci IV finals on monday, and my CPE on thursday... oh, and then there's the little issue of finding an internship site. x.x;

I love Heather. She completely took my mind off all the crap going on in my life today. Otherwise I'd be sitting at home moping about, wondering, and debating on whether or not I should go find out about what exactly's going on here. Kinda like I'm doing now ><; I'm such an idiot. I don't know why this whole issue should bother me so much. For all I know, I might be reading too much into it anyways; I'm pretty notorious for doing that. I think it is just what I'm fearing now though. Little things tell me so... the biggest thing probably is the fact that it seems to me that he's been avoiding me lately; perhaps so as not to hurt me I guess. Granted I'm aware that I've been avoiding the internet myself lately, but I suppose what you didn't know is that one of the reasons-- though certainly not the only reason-- I had decided to do this was because I felt like he was avoiding me... just so you don't think me quite so hypocritical ;p . Now that makes me feel bad though if he is. I mean shit, he's done nothing wrong, but I guess my reaction to it all might say so otherwise. I'm the one doing all this wrong. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I should be happy he's found someone else. And why not? Would you believe I actually prayed for it? (re: good little christian girl thing). So now that he has found someone else, I regret it?? What's wrong with me?! *sigh* I just wish I could get passed this ridiculous jealousy thing, and genuinely say that I'm happy for him... (PS. if you didn't want me talking about this jerry, ims, i could delete this if you want, i just figured, well, who doesn't know by this point anyways)

I just feel like so much has changed in just one year. I had so much last year. Now I've lost like the three most important things in my life, and my grades have been suffering tremendously as a result. Fortunately now I'm done with classes, I just have to make it through the next few tests, and I'm home free to start internship. I can do it... It's gonna be difficult trying to keep my mind clear enough to study this weekend though, but I can do it. The plan is to study Vet Sci IV one day, and then Anesthesia the other day. Who wants to bet I'm not gonna start either of them till like 9pm sunday night?!

I finally have bubble wrap, so I can start packing up more stuff again. I can't wait till my mom comes out here. Poor mom, it's supposed to snow the day after she gets here hehe. We'll have fun though. That will also hopefully take my mind off of everything, and perhaps take her's off of daddy as well, since being out here seems to help me with that anyways...

Hmm. I suppose I could have easily embarrased myself with this entry. Oh well, that's what the concept of 'journal' is for so whatever, even if I do. Well anyways... I dunno, I thought I had a bit more to add. Later perhaps!